Dear Year of 2020,
You’ve gotten a bad rap.
People are posting cheeky comics about you...
OK...that was me. I posted both on Facebook.
I mean, sure, it was a rough year with moments of intense stress, anxiety and fear. People have suffered immeasurable loss and uncertainty. But I don’t think I ever wished you were “over.”
I remember many moments of laughter. I remember the comfort I felt in having my parents safe and close-by for the first 3 months of the pandemic...and spaciousness.
My soul leaps for joy at just the idea of spaciousness and you have offered plenty of the actual thing. I'm very grateful for that.
In fact, I look back on the year with deep gratitude for the “little” things which really aren’t so little.
- Gratitude that my family, to date, has not suffered serious illness or viruses; we still have our jobs and homes and plenty of food in the cupboard with no fear of that not continuing.
- Gratitude for the beauty of Maine and the opportunity to be in nature throughout the pandemic. I had lots of time in nature with friends, especially at the beach, drinking in the sunshine and laughing uproariously.
- Gratitude for the spaciousness the lay-off from my full-time job has allowed, along with the unemployment insurance and and money I've saved so that I feel comfortable not working full-time and have the space to grow my business.
- Gratitude for how resilient and adaptive and caring we have been as a people. Kind and encouraging, with generous gestures all around.
- Gratitude for a shift in the leadership of our county and the hope this change offers.
- Gratitude for how well Tom and I are finding our way and enjoying each other in the midst of lots of together time at home and limited social activity. It’s huge.
On and on the list continues.
As for the lessons you have offered, that list is long as well.
I’ve learned…
- To Pay Attention (this is an actual message I received when I connected to the spirit of the coronavirus in March). Notice where you go, with whom, how people are acting; engage in what’s happening, NOW, at even the smallest, most microscopic level.
- That I didn’t have to work as hard at my full-time job as I did from March through June. I could have backed-off and still performed more than adequately and still be a valued part of our team. This seems to be a life-long lesson I’m learning and it was a big one in 2020.
- That the expiration date for pushing myself beyond what’s healthy is either right around the corner or very possibly passed. I’ve felt it in my body and spirit and have a feeling I don't have many more come-backs in me.
- That I can be with people I love without feeling like I need to fix them or tend to their wounds and guide them on a path to healing. I’ve felt great joy in just being with them, loving them and holding them in the highest light. Huge.
- That I’ve love not having a lot planned in the evenings and on the weekends. I vow to keep my calendar more open when we get back to gathering safely.
- That Spirit has been with me through all of the most difficult times of the year. I have felt their presence more deeply than ever before in the form of the Divine Mother, Bear, and the Grandmothers. Thank you, thank you.
- That we can live and be content with so much less than we had or did before March 2020.
- That there is great value and peace in observing chaos and unrest without stepping into it.
- That life is so much better and connections so much deeper when you talk through hurts and misunderstandings with your most cherished loved ones.
Thank you, 2020, for unfolding in the way you were meant to unfold, for the shifts occurring and consciousness rising, leading us to a more cooperative, collaborative and healthy way of living.
Thank you for the lessons offered, the support and fellowship of friends, family and Spirit. For healing and hope and beauty and peace.
May we not forget the lessons you've offered. May we move forward with intention and care, opening up to a 2021 beyond our best imaginings. May we not forget those who are suffering and do what we can to lift them up.
May all beings be safe and well, with open hearts, as we head into the homestretch and a bright new year.